/sci/ - Science & Math

>be schizo
>on meds feel blank, but lacking anxiety and emotion in general. no sex drive. Boring.
>off meds, delusions of persecution and grandeur I.E. I alternate between thinking girls love me and are head over heels with me and im the best guy on the planet, and thinking they are out to have their bf rob me, to humiliate me, to frame me, to get me in some way
>unable to tell when a girl is actually interested in me, literally
>girls think I'm an asshole or just gay
>can't tell them about my condition because it'd make my life shittier if people knew I was schizo
>only girls that like me are drug addicts with no standards because I can supply wholesale

Am I hopeless? I just lost the one girl who put up with me for 2 years.

Anyone else schizo have people problems?

To keep this /sci/ related. What atypical anti psycotic causes the least zombie like state? I was on resperidone but I could feel nothing at all on it. The girl I loved for 2 years cut contact with me last week and I didn't even care on meds. Off meds now and I miss her and feel sad. Feeling nothing is nice when fearful, but im losing me friends since i seem distant and detached.