/sci/ - Science & Math

Diagnosed schizo, by medical professional. not internet. so please do not post in my thread if you're an anti-psychiatry faggot, bat-shit insane christfag fuck you guys are crazier than me, or someone cliaming you can't know you're schizo and be schizo. stop watching movies you dumb little bitch faggots and stop spewing disinfo shit. fuck off. you always infect my threads.

okay so I had to do a speech type thing for some class. 5 minute talking, 2 people. 15 minute total. 5 minutes of responding to class questions as well. I have not given a speech since the age of 13 sober. I took zeros until 18 when I got on Xanax and Oxy. I needed about 400-500mg of Oxycontin and 4-6mg of xanax for calmness during public speaking in community college. i developed schizo symptoms at age 16 or so. but visual hallucinations have not came until 6 months ago. I am 23.

I did this speech sober, cause my dealer is a faggot about his opiates. his doesn't make much cash so it's "when he's around not wasting gas' and i can't afford a car. he couldn't bring me a packaged needle and the vial of liquid hydrophone i needed before the speech so I went sober. well I took 1 mg of xanax but that didn't dent the shit. first ever as an adult. jesus christ the stress. I have had a gun pointed at me and this was more horrifying and stressful and the fear. i started seeing things and this has only happened like 2-3 times before. never with this level of discomfort. I was fine for 45 seconds, and then it got hard to read. like i couldn't remember how. shadowy evil looking shit went over the cards. and evil shit on my hands too. shadowing evil things on the walls as well towards the end. I am pretty sure i sounded like a retarded fucking cunt and ruined this girls grade who was partnered with me. i stopped talking mid questions and stared at the cards and uggh.

i did horribly. but i dont talk to anyone at school. ill just show up drugged and try to get a C. but since i saw shit, im feeling off