/sci/ - Science & Math

>4.2-4.5 GPA AP/Honors student in HS
>schizo hits at 15 but grades don't take a dramatic nose dive till 21 with first majorly delusional psychotic break that should have got me committed if i didn't have 2 schizo best friends to teach me to hide it
>grades eating shit now
>1.5-2.0 GPA due to my brain getting bad
>school tricked me to get me kicked out (Told me to withdraw medically instead of ask for extensions my professors were willing to give..... and said i'd owe nothing, just be on probation. OH HO HO come 1 day before time to register for classes, probation for financial aid isn't how it works. they lied to me. I owe $1500 since they want half the loans paid back since i didnt finish the semester and are also denying me access to university mental health services i paid for since i am 'not enrolled any more'. unless i pay by 8:30 tuesday, i can't enroll in classes and they'll be full in 1-2 days so i wont be able to attend in the fall.)
>probably won't get money unless i accept a front
>tried several anti psychotics. none do much besides make me sleep 14-16 hours a day, and remove voices
>meds don't make me motivated. meds don't make me able to socialize and mingle with people. meds don't make me able to hold conversations agian. meds don't make me happy. meds don' do anything but remove the fear and voices. that's it. other stuff gets worse
>no improvement to cognitive skills or reduction of negative symptoms
>can't socialize or make friends therefore, cannot pass interviews or function in a work environment
>slow as shit, mess up all the time, not even my dad will hire me, and when he does he deducts pay for my fuck ups and i end up getting worse and making slave wages and trigger episodes

So I need to get functional...and employed by October. as in, a job. not selling drugs.

what can I do? the meds fix the visions/audio hallucinations.

but those don't disable me. cognitive/negative symptoms do. they're worse

medfags?

What can a schizophrenic do about the problems with social skills and speaking/writing? anyone knowledgeable here? I read something about how some gene between schizo and autism was related. Anyone knowledgeable here?

And other negative symptoms. I got diagnosed by the psychiatrist at my university the other week. I never knew why I sucked so much. I thought I might be autistic but it turns out, I am schizo. My faggot parents just told me it was low self esteem when I believed everyone was talking about me in bad ways, that i thought people watched me, that i thought people laughing at me when i walked by, that people planned to humiliate/harm me. And that people could read my thoughts. They said I was just overly imaginative. Turns out, im apparently delusional in many ways.

the anti psychotic meds i got seemed to reduce that, a little. still there. but the other stuff doesn't seem to change. copying a bunch of shit from a website. listing em. maybe some of you who suck socially should look into this too....


--Staring, while in deep thought, with infrequent blinking.
--Unusual gestures or postures
--Movement is speeded up- i.e. constant pacing
--Feeling indifferent to important events
--Inability to form or keep relationships
--Social isolation- few close friends if any. Little interaction outside of immediate family.
--Increased withdrawal, spending most of the days alone.
--Becoming lost in thoughts and not wanting to be disturbed with human contact
--Neglect in self-care- i.e. hygiene, clothing, or appearance
--Replaying or rehearsing conversations out loud- i.e. talking to yourself (very common sign)
--Functional impairment in interpersonal relationships, work, education, or self-care
--Ruminating thoughts- these are the same thoughts that go around and round your head but get you nowhere. Often about past disappointments, missed opportunities, failed relationships.