/lit/ - Literature

>35 years old
>ugly charismaless nofriends beta male
>have boring wfh job
>no woman attracted to me ever
>never even flirted with a woman
>went to university, had many jobs - still not the slightest hint of pussy
>no friends since school
>lifted weights for years

In school I was probably much more of a loser than I realised, even though I had friends. I was never invited to any of the parties. I didn't go to the school prom and I still remember playing a video game on that night.

In university I had zero friends or social acquaintances. I remember the first week I was there, there were all these social events and I never attended any of them. It felt like university was a huge party for all normies, which I wasn't invited to.

I remember I had a crush on this girl during my first year at university in my class, and one time the fire alarm went off during a smaller class. We went outside and then were led to a building by the lecturer to shield ourselves from the weather before going back in. I realised the girl was standing right next to me as we milled about in the building, and I didn't turn to look at her. I just read this noticeboard repeatedly for around 10 minutes.

Tinder became popular when I was at university but I was already sucked punched twice by the r9kpill and then incel blackpill. After the latter, I spent the following year in a near-daze, with my loserdom totally explained.

I become the ugly loser nobody talks to within a day of all my jobs. I once worked at this shopping mall store during university, which probably had the most attractive girls per square feet of anywhere outside of university. I talked to no one, obviously.

I lived in London for a while for work and nothing changed. It was demoralising walking past busy pubs on my way home during evenings.

The idea of talking to a woman with the aim of any relationship seems insane, unrealistic, and reeking of desparation.