/lit/ - Literature

BIG CHUNGUS

>>23252680
Board wouldn’t let me hide the Marcus Aurelius thread so I had to hide it manually.

For some reason I'm extremely hungry today.
What I eat at work is almost always the same but today I was just STARVING.

Is it me or are automobiles not even interesting anymore? When I was young, it was fun to see the new autos being unveiled for the next year at car shows and to geek out at the top end luxury and sports performance vehicles. Now, it’s just boring. I can’t tell if I’ve just gotten older or if autos are just boring now or both.

i require a rotund wench

>talk to nice lady at till about very reasonably priced jazz records
>she discounts the albums even further
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWAwdL3QdgM

>>23252713
yeah that's even a big problem for motorracing: huge drop in audience.

Cars have been made for women and cityfolks so it's really shitty. And now with the IoT they want cars to be a monthly subscribed service kek.

guy who only reads his local paper every day is smarter than guy who reads "classics"

>>23252755
Correct me if I’m wrong, but motor racing used to be a lot more dangerous and high stakes. I got this impression from Hemingway’s opinion on the sport and some secondary opinions about his opinion.

But the whole thing just seems sort of boring. These machines are not particularly interesting anymore. Even shit like new muscle and sports cars just don’t captivate my interest like they used to.

I read Spengler and realized that were caught between scientific transhumanism and Nietzschean existentialism as the possible elite philosophies of the future and I just think both of these will be an unmitigated tragedy for Western civilization and mankind. I want to believe there’s an alternative but I just don’t see it.

I want to live an authentic life but I dont know how. I just end up doing the opposite by asking others. Shame.

>>23252812
I think knowing who you are comes in part by wisdom which in part comes by age. It’s not automatic but it’s pretty much impossible to be wise when you’re young and thus very difficult to know who you are. I had basically no sense of who I was and what I what I should do with my life until I was close to thirty and at thirty I’m still just staring to feel it out.

I want to plan a crime and, right before doing it, with weapon hidden, look my unknowing victims in their faces to see if I am really capable of it. Does the moral righteousness of the act overmaster the empathetic voice telling one "No!"
It is so easy to say the ends justify the means, when one has not to look on the means themselves. I have always wanted to know this. I think it would be enlightening no matter the outcome.

Does this seem unhinged?

>>23252833
Im older than 30 and still no sense.

>>23252806
Christianity

>ordered book 1 month ago from amazon
>shipping within 3-8 days
>still didnt arrive
motherfuckers

>>23252905
Amazon fuckin sucks these days. Half of the books are goddamn printed on demand, shipping has gotten a lot slower.

Whatever you do, don't grow old. It is bleak

>>23251256
I am a student in college. I live with my parents. My mother and father are often at odds with each other over a common interest of my education. My father usually gets information before my mother because he asks me before or after I am tending to my studies, my mother has a habit of doing that in the middle of my studies. She has a habit of interrupting me and by causing this argument, it not only affected her ability to collect information, but also my father's ability to ask. I got mad at her for that, since, in my eyes, my father did nothing wrong, for saying that, I was locked away in my bedroom and told that unless I am to directly apologize to her and speak in the right tone at the right volume, she will allow for me to eat dinner. I refused, but elected to depart the household for a short period of time (the "park bench" incident), I came back and was escorted (with a firm grasp around my wrists, which were behind my back) to my bedroom with no alternative but to sleep. I attempted to disobey her, since I had assignments due that night and she cost me a whole lab report because of her stunt.

I missed the fact that the other thread had met its bump limit.

>>23252915
What to do though? I need this book.

>>23252802
>>Correct me if I’m wrong, but motor racing used to be a lot more dangerous and high stakes.
yeah more dangerous and sports cars were less reliable so the championships were always full of twists

>>23252859
Not possible per Spengler. It would have to be a strictly philosophical Christianity that includes a mandate to dominate everything.

>>23252858
That’s not abnormal but how much have you really tried to get a sense. Is it something you’ve thought about all day every day for years, and actually experimented in real life?

>>23252806
>>23252859

you guys have to accept that
1/ all societies decay
2/ the democratic republics by the bourgeois will not be exempted from decay
3/ the new society will not have the bourgeois at the top, ie it will not be a republic
4/ if the new model of society is so obvious, the bourgeois will do anything to kill it and keep their republics alive
5/ the new society will NEVER EVER be created by any civil servants or businessman.
=>The solution will never come from any media products like Zemmour in France, nor from a business product like Trump in the USA, nor from a woman, because in democracy women are products of bureaucracies and marketing.
The solution will come from somebody who is not part of the republic. Only an external element and external event from the republic will destroy the republic and the bureaucrats-businessmen for good.

The point is that it will be so strange that westerners won't see it coming

>>23252802
>motor racing used to be a lot more dangerous and high stakes
Not really. Everything that was dangerous and high stakes is still so.
>Hemingway's opinion
I don't think Hemingway ever saw, for example, the TT. In any motor racing it's always mad bastards aiming to do something lethal in case it's not 100% lethal.

>>23252976
I cannot experiment if I dont have a thought that I want to examine.

I dislike the emphasis on 'world building' in science fiction and fantasy. You should have a well constructed setting, but I don't want to read a history lesson or have to ingest a bunch of ancillary gobbledygook to get into it.

What is the allure of buddhism? I think it has to do with the idea that they know a bunch of stuff other people don't know from having meditated a million years. It's the allure of intiation.

>>23252932
Order it through a local bookshop? Like in the before times, the long long ago

>>23253028
For me, the worst kind of 'world building' is when the author throws some unknown term out of the blue, like a certain group of people or historical event, and while you can tell it's probably important, not only does he refuse to clarify what it might mean even as a short first impression but also doesn't elaborate at all beyond maybe a glossary at the end. It's such a lazy way about it. It's like the author thinks he's come up with some great idea but is reluctant to share it properly.

Dude, I hate my job so much. I hate all jobs. I hate dedicating even an hour to this mind numbing pointless bullshit. I also hate becoming known for this among coworkers and whatnot. I hate how small all of this. I really wish I would’ve become a published writer, or started a successful business, of successfully run for office years ago. Anything to be on a better path than this by now. Somehow it feels worse now than it did a few years ago.

>>23253057
what job?

>>23253063
Remote financial analyst

Pretty sure my memory problems are slowly worsening. I can't wait for the day that I'll just forget everything, and maybe even get to die.

>>23253073
Yeah, that's probably as mundane and mind numbing as it gets.

>>23252405
well pic related somehow caught my eye and I just bought it
Maybe it will be the missing piece of my puzzle in order to radically change my life
Also Im selling all my vice devices like my brand new iPhone/iPad pro, Switch and will buy an older mac where I can remove the airport wifi card
I waste too many hours of my precious lifetime online (typical terminally online zoomer) and realised that I actually used to read a lot as a child, while now Im not able to get past a few pages without reaching for my deluxe procrastination/goon device

Will report back in a few months

>>23253102
Sounds pretty radical, but maybe that's just what you need. Godspeed, anon. I hope you find what you're looking for. Have this last cat in a few months.

>>23253083
Yeah, but what J-O-B is better? None really. I think maybe a small minority of lawyers, academics, and journalists have interesting jobs. Most don’t. Otherwise, everyone else is engaged with some totally mundane bullshit, which, if you’re smart and ambitious person, is just absolutely devastating.

>>23253121
I'm sure some jobs can be enjoyed in some shape of form even if some of them can be seen as mundane, repetitive or even unrewarding from outside (tourist guide, library stuff, teacher, etc) or being outright dangerous (policeman, firefighter, etc), as long as there's some passion involved. But financial analyst? It's the same shit every time every day all year long. If you can't remind yourself enough times that you're just in for some money before you GTFO, you'll just spiral into madness. I don't think there's any way you can enjoy this unless you're so fucked up, you're willing to upload your consciousness and become an autistic AI overlord.
Maybe that's what you need to do. Set a viable objective. "I'm gonna save x and then move to some other job that isn't soul crushing." Every time it gets unbearable, push it back, get back to that mindset. Food for thought, I guess.

>>23253154
Well I know exactly what job I want. It’s just not a job that’s easy to just get into. But yeah, you’re right. There are exceptions. I just can’t think of any white collar exceptions. I don’t really regret my career. I actually like and care about my industry. I just regret where I’ve made it, what my particular job has been, and how long I’ve done it. I don’t regret not becoming a cop or firefighter or something. It’s more like I regret not doing this a little differently and then graduating earlier, if you know what I mean.

>>23253154
Also, I’m in a bit of a golden handcuffs situation. Yeah I could go get any more interesting higher paying job. But my current job is so insanely comfortable because it’s remote. It’s like yeah, on a time and effort basis it’s a waste of my life but on a time and finance basis it’s pretty good (I make about $90k to do pretty much nothing but field emails).

>>23252224
https://youtu.be/g8BJoeGan7s?t=687

How am I supposed to know which ones are real if you never tell me

>>23253203
How much of your time does it actually consume? Unless you're on OT most of the time to meet demands, you could just treat it as much of a side thing as possible. This is just a guess, but perhaps this job feels so shit not quite because it's a shit job, but because there's nothing to counterbalance its burden. Which is easier said than done while the rat race consumes your spirit, but since you acknowledge that it's not that demanding and it actually pays well, it makes me think if job hopping or even changing field would actually work.

>>23253297
Very little. Most days I have nothing to do but field emails sporadically. The challenge is that occasionally things come up and I have to be nearby at a moment’s notice when they do. It’s not a shit job. It’s just not ambitious enough for me, if that makes sense. I like that it demands as little as possible for a good wage, but I hate that it’s not prestigious or making me rich or something or an important job. I know that’s probably materialistic or shallow but it’s the truth. I’m not really not sure what you mean by counterbalance its burden though.

>>23253274
I don't understand a word, but I can feel the optimism and the love in this track. It's like you said, no whining or bitching from her tone nor from the instruments. I can almost imagine this one woman whom I once loved either singing this as she dances with me, clapping along the drum as we take turns watching one another dance solo, or laid down in front of me confiding this song with her lovely whispering, especially the ending; even though she probably wouldn't understand a word either. It's so lovely, it doesn't even bother me that we're now apart. Not OP, but thanks for this. Maybe one day you'll feel the same joy while listening to this, instead of that painful memory you described.

Why was the IP counter removed?

>>23253324
If you're looking for prestige or money within your field then I can see where you're coming from. "It's good, but not good enough" kind of thing.
>I’m not really not sure what you mean by counterbalance its burden though.
As in, without some greater motive to push you forward, or another activity that's actually your main objective and you just treat work as the stuff you must to do cover your bills (i.e. current objective in life whenever you're not sending emails), there's nothing to stop reminding you that your job sucks. Or maybe there is something, or some things, you do besides work, but it's not enough to perish the thought. Something like that.
>>23253332
Hiroshimoot is a flaming faggot.

Most of suicide notes can be boiled down to
>be stuck for months/years
>need help
>there is no adequate help
>repeat until mind is broken, gives in and commits suicide

shame

>>23252927
Once again man, you need to move out. You are 20 years old, it is unbelievable that you are treated like a small child

>>23253324
Are you the "golden handcuffs" guy? Just fucking quit you huge pussy. Tired of hearing about your shit. "Oooohh my job is so easy and pays well but it doesn't line up with how important I think I am." Eat shit faggot and paypal me $2000

I can't decide on anything huge, I am the donkey that starves between two stacks of hay.

where do you go if there is no reason to stay and no reason to go.

>>23253391
The ones I've read go like
>I want to die, here is a long list of totally logical reasons why I have to kill myself
>Also, here's a list of illogical and emotional outbursts because I really can't keep going like this.
>People tried to help me, but they don't get it. I'm gonna fucking do it.
>Goodbye everyone, wish you the best

>>23253491
You're a fucking faggot.
Come to my home dressed cute, we can smoke weed and goon to sissy hypno porn together ;)

>>23253503
>I want to die, here is a long list of totally logical reasons why I have to kill myself
be stuck
>Also, here's a list of illogical and emotional outbursts because I really can't keep going like this.
need help
>People tried to help me, but they don't get it. I'm gonna fucking do it.
given help is not adequate
>Goodbye everyone, wish you the best
mind is broken, defeat

seems about right.

perhaps I have been mistaken about some things

Everything is getting worse at an exponential rate because the entire world is internetted and everything is a product and every product on the internet is targeted at the ever increasing swarm of retard Indian niggers and other assorted Pakleds who try to talk to the actors in Youtube and porn site comments. Literal fucking retards actual animal-level subhuman mongrel nigger retard paki inbreds are the default human for the new "world culture" and it's BY DESIGN.

>>23252713
It's not just you.
https://youtu.be/OcAiFBi-fz0?si=dksD-hYypOoeyFdS

>>23253374
Yeah. You get it. And I get what you mean now.

>>23253425
You must be referring to the one post I made like a month ago. Don’t you think it’s a little weird that you even remember that let alone are this triggered by a follow up? Why would I take advice from you? You come off like an insane person.

>>23253509
I don't want to get assaulted...

>>23253525
Cool it with the racism, bud

This motherfucker, named Daniel, was a piece of fucking shit. At 3 AM on a Sunday he broke into the local church and robbed it of its holy water. Straight up used a shop vac to pump that holiness out. INTO A PLASTIC RECEPTACLE. Disgusting.
Anyway, this sin could not wait for the wrath of God, and must be dealt with NOW.
He is in a 2007 Honda Civic. Me? I'm in a 2019 Honda Civic. The added weight of electronics assisted me in PIT maneuvering his vehicle, and he quickly ended up upside-down in a ditch.
I go up to his door, open it up, and as he is struggling to regain some semblance of understanding of what just happened I shove a tazer into his armpit. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ goes the tazer. I literally just kept it on until it no longer tazed, and then I grabbed my back-up tazer to continue the shocking violence. Before running out of charge on the back-up, I pull him out by his hair and zip him into a specialized rubber bag. I then put the bag onto my back with the attached straps and walk him into the trunk. Once he is all secure, I drive home.
I hoisted him out and brought him to the basement's bathroom. I had a hook above the tub for suspending the bag from. Then? I pumped non-holy water through a hole in the top. He started screaming and shit, but it was not very loud due to rubber's insulating properties. The screaming straight up stopped when the water got to his face (an assumption, I cannot actually see into the bag, transparent materials for such constructions are pricey). I stopped pumping water because I did not want him to die yet (there is a hole in the bottom of the bag for drainage, but it is not that big).
It is VERY important that you give a motherfucker time to suffer so that they make their own amends with God. In a way, I'm doing God's work. I'm giving Daniel a chance to not face hell, for I give him a temporal taste of it here on this beautiful green Earth.
After a view rounds of water pumping, I pump in some oatmeal. Motherfucker must be hungry (it's been 16 hours since he was nabbed). Once he is finished eating, I go to take a nap.
After waking up, I visit Daniel. I see that he took a shit, because I can see some of it in the tub. It is all mushed up and shit (lol) because he must have used his feet to crumble it through the bottom hole of his bag.
Anyway this pissed me off a lot so I decided to just take a bat and beat the fucking shit out of him inside the bag. One crack (think I hit his ribs) and a little scream emits. Two cracks and a BIG scream emits. The third whack makes the bag start moving a bit (fucking muscles). The 4th whack was to his face, and blood starts running out of the bottom hole.
I unzip him out of the bag. I cut off his fingers. I cut off his toes. I rape his anus with rebar. I expose his spine and pour alcohol onto it. That'll teach YOU motherfucker. God showed me that he had apologized for his sins, and he is now almost certainly in heaven.

>>23253541
I would never do that. Why would I? You sound just like the kind of docile, fun friend I want.

>>23253536
If you're the guy I'm thinking of you've been complaining about this off and on for months. I may come across as insane but you come across as a little bitch.

>>23253544
>docile, fun friend
Sounds predator-y...

>>23253552
Sounds like that's just what you need ;)
Some safe, lewd fun.

>>23253546
Are you aware this is an anonymous board? I don’t know if you’re seeing user names in your mind’s eye or what but you should probably take some time away from this website regardless.

what the hell have I gotten myself into
when will I do any work

>>23253627
I recognize a posting style when I see it

Can anybody help me? I'm in a bit of a golden handcuffs situation. I make a 100k a year from home jerking off and answering some boomer's stupid questions thirty minutes a day, but it's just like... It's not fun, you know? And I was thinking, I only have a few hundred thousand in the bank that I could use to get a prestigious education and job, but it's just like... My current job is so comfy and awesome, ya know? So I was thinking I should maybe kill myself.

obsessed. you just know this anon is going to dream that he's handcuffed with that guy and they're going to have some wholesome sex, but it won't be gay cause the balls won't touch.

>>23253701
keep the job idiot.
jesus fuck
work on side projects
you literally have the perfect opportunity to do so

>>23252680
---- Solaria ----
9057
Seneca

No one who lived in any ancient distance
Can make me laugh out loud
Like he still does.

>>23253053
Its out of print and costs quite a lot

>>23252858
Wait until you’re over 40 like me

>>23252979
Just as long you don’t see some kind of future in the east.

>>23252856
YWNB Raskolnikov

>>23253778
They might have contacts who can hook you up

>>23253701
It's better than a golden chastity belt situation, at least

I miss her so much. I see her in everything. It doesn't end. I've started wondering if maybe I have a faulty connection with my mother and she took my mothers place. It's like I've tried to force her out of my heart a couple of times now but if she is not there then there is nothing for me to be, and I don't have the guts. It's been way longer than you think. I genuinely attempted suicide hoping she would be on the other side, although to be fair to me I had been psychotic for about 6 months then without treatment.

The account of misguidance teachers and college advisors are allowed to get away with should be illegal

You should be allowed to sue your alma mater

Because I hate being touched. Because I hate touching people. Because when someone invites me to something I get a tight feeling in my stomach and an excuse springs to my mind even if I'd probably have a good time. Because I see myself as a burden on people even if maybe I'm not. Because I don't want to get in the way. Because I'd be a wet blanket. Because I'm actually a shitty person and I'm afraid of eventually hurting people who get close to me. Because I'm just one member of a faceless mass of disposable people who in ages past would die in pointless assaults against castle walls on behalf of the local lord or work in farm fields for 40 years before dying of dysentery and being buried without a gravestone. Because it's easier to find reasons to give up than it is to try in the first place. Because I don't think I deserve it. Because I don't understand how people get along with each other and I've really just been pantomiming the successful behavior of others without knowing why it works. Because there's no amount of self-awareness that will really do anything good for me but it's all I have. Because I'm probably just a self-obsessed narcissist endlessly jerking himself off over how le lonely and sad he is and how hard saying hi how are you to a female is. Because I'm starting to suspect that something extremely fucked up happened in my childhood even though I can't prove it and don't remember it. Because I associate porn and masturbation with arousal and thus associate arousal with shame and disgust and thus associate shame and disgust with porn and masturbation and from this tripartite loop end up debasing myself with ever more shameful and disgusting things, and sandpapering my morals and values away in the process. Because I haven't really ever tried. Because I refuse to make room for someone else in my life. Because I don't know how to make room for anyone else. Because no girl wants to put in the effort to force a fairly unattractive manlet to open up and ~learn to love himself~ and all that shit when it's not really worth it and she can find better on Tinder anyway. Because that's a convenient fantasy I can use to excuse my lack of trying. Because I fear not being enough for someone else. Because I've never been able to see myself as 'enough.' Because I believe in God, with all that comes with Him. Because I know I can blind myself with a veil of self-referencing post-irony for years and years until it's too late and the opportunity has passed me by. Because I want to punish myself. Because the kind of girl I'm most attracted to happens to be very similar to my sister and that gives me a feeling of unease. Because I sometimes have trouble remembering things that happened ten minutes ago or words I've used daily for years or even feeling like my life is really happening and I'm scared that I'm going to lose my mind. Because the ideal of love I envision never even existed in reality. Because because because.

>>23253747
A logical answer, yet the incorrect one

>>23252680
---- Solaria ----
9058
Incalculable

I suspect that there's no planet rich as ours
In the whole Virgo cluster.

This is not to say that that universe doesn't go on forever,
Without any care for proportion or economy.

>>23253851
I agree with everything you wrote. I think all the same things.

>>23253849
You should be able to sue your parents for bringing you into existence.

>>23253874
I agree but my parents have nothing to give me so I'd rather sue the schools that steal money from tax payers and students.
If I can demonstrably show that I achieved none of the schools self stated learning goals and outcomes yet still graduated i should be given compensation

I don't hate Jews

Some anons are tougher than anyone and they don't realize it. It's crazy lol. If it were anyone else in their shoes they would have killed themselves a while ago. Imagine never giving up even under the effect of constant, crushing loneliness and mockery. Only the most real ones can deal with that shit for so long and not turn to drug or alcohol addictions. Imagine doing what you want to do in life despite all of your failings, just because you want it. For some of these there must be God behind them or something. How do they (the exceptional) do it?

>>23253787
I'm 61. i was 19 in 1983, and still have a lot of audio and video cassettes taped off the Chicago airwaves between 1974 and 2013.. The earliest audio recording in my collection was made was about in 1971, of my paternal grandfather.

>>23253961
"Any man who delights in solitude is either a beast, or a god." - Fred Nietzsche

>>23253983
One can do both.

>>23253983
>That a city then precedes an individual is plain, for if an individual is not in himself sufficient to compose a perfect government, he is to a city as other parts are to a whole; but he that is incapable of society, or so complete in himself as not to want it, makes no part of a city, as a beast or a god.
Aristotle from his Politics.

Is it more selfish to kill yourself or is it more selfish to guilt someone into not kill themselves?

>>23254016
Who cares

I feel lonely but its the kind of lonely nothing will ever fix.
I'm a virgin NEET I feel so far outside the world but being a part of it isn't desirable either.
I'm not a bitter incel who hates women but I'm also not going to go out of my way or get with a woman I don't like.
I don't want to live rural or urban or anything in-between
I think I'd rather think of myself as an animal
I don't really like any of this stuff

>>23253701
>>23253682
It’s wild that you don’t realize how pathetic you are. How much do you have to be here to recognize a “posting style” and then mock it? Why do you even reply if you don’t have any actual advice or questions and are just going to seethe at someone that has it a bit better than you because they posted what is on their mind in a “write what’s on your mind” thread a couple times, as if that isn’t the whole point. You have to be the biggest loser on this board unironically.

>>23253994
>>That a city then precedes an individual is plain,
I beg to disagree. This is simply not the case when it comes to to the proportions of administrative power or wealth. It's as if Aristotle had not sense of reality or proportion.

>>23254039
Me too. My "solution" so far has been to throw myself into my shitty McJob so I'm too tired to think about any of it. Maybe one day I'll just snap and drive into the wilderness in northern Idaho to disappear.

>>23254016
Open to interpretation

>>23254044
Nah he's right

>>23254047
I have the exact same thought but in the southwest deserts.

>>23253961
Im fairly certain that for what I know I might one of those anons. But, I never needed god, for If I needed him in my final hour, when I was at my weakest, I would be dead near a cliffside right now. Some things are illusions in life, some of them are simply misunderstood rather untrue and acknowledging and understanding them will be most sobering yet also intoxicating experience of your life. But make no mistake, nothing is free in this life, the currency is not always materialistic; time is most common and most valuable for instance. My price was my sanity, broken but still intact, like how you break a mirror but the glass is still clear; or how you reconstruct one of the kintsugi plates; but in order to piece a mirror or a plate together you must gather all parts; unfortunately many don't manage to do it intime for supper

>>23254050
He's only too obviously equivocating about the facts of life, whether it pertains to government and human nature or anything else. i detest guys like him.

>>23253425
Man, I wish. I probably would flee to a country where manual labor is a way of life. Perhaps become one of the harvesters in someplace like Turkmenistan, I do not give a shit about quality of life.
>Captcha:AHAA

I got a boner in public and people noticed. I'm embarrassed.

>>23254140
Just like cross your legs bro.

>>23254140
Next time it happens, wink and smile at one of them. Become the freak they think you are.

>>23252680
I met another 4chan user in a nightclub last night. His whole personality was being weird. He was taking pictures of everyone and boasting about it; everyone labelled him the creepy guy, and he revelled in the negative attention.

I know that I will not be defined by my inate weirdness like him. I will be more than that. I have already left him in the dust.

I need to speak to a monkey immediately or I'm going to fucking die.

>>23254140
Never. Been rather a lot outdoors shirtless even though my torso is kind of scrawny and aysmmetrical. It feels nice, especially since i don't care how it looks.

>>23254140
how come an older friend, brother, uncle or any older man faigure told you how to deal with it? Strech, your legs, your arms, everything and bloody will circulate away

>>23254173
The only guy I ever met in real life who knew anything about 4chud is a heroin addict that I happened to rather like at the time, around 2017. He's probably dead by now, but then I'm used to that fact of life: Already I've outlived both of my parents, two of my siblings, and the best friend of my youth.

>>23254225
How old are you?

>>23254242
61.

>>23254173
Might have met one or two and both were kind of weird

>>23253972
Knew there would be some old cats here.

Speaking of audio does anyone have an interest in shortwave radio?

>>23253972
Also were you aware of the underground hardcore punk scene popping up around that time?

>>23254245
Damn I'm 19 and am chatting to a 61 year old. Are you married? Do you have kids? What is your general perspective on life as someone who is getting old? Do you think the past was better? And lastly,any advice?

>>23254177
die then, for you are among only apes

>>23254140
wdym people noticed? did they comment? nice throbber, kid, reminds me of that summer back in '89?? I dont really believe you.

>>23254016
no objective answer, but look at videos or audio of people reacting to losing a kid to suicide, then make your own human judgement. kind of a dumb question probably idk

>>23253913
whom do you hate?

I’m so happy that cracks are starting to form in the post-WW2 order. It’s a way bigger deal than people realize, that the Jews are once again being denounced around the world for their crimes. Random ass normie white girls I know are shitting on Israel and comparing Jews to Nazis. It’s amazing, it’s a great thing that’s happening. The door is opening for a new, better world

>>23254248
My dad did, when it comes to aviation and law enforcement. I was kind of fanatic when it comes to recording Chicago radio stations. I must have about 1000 hours of TDK tapes of 80s stations alone, everything from WFMT, WNIB, Totally Wired, Hearts Of Space, WCKG, Steve Dahl and Garry Meier. I suppose my first interest in radio happened around 1972. I know you won't believe me, but I met a WIND radio host I listened to during 1973 while on Uber ride in 2018..

>MACBETH.
>I am settled, and bend up
>Each corporal agent to this terrible feat.
>Away, and mock the time with fairest show:
>False face must hide what the false heart doth know.
It's over.
This moment still tears into me even on a third read.

>>23254266
Never been married, no kids, Kinsey 5, etc. The late 70s, the late 80s, and the late 90s were pretty good to me. The times I lived in were the best. As for advice, I'd say foremost beware of palpable bastards and bitches, on the small and large scale.

>>23254366
You're gay? That explains a lot.

>>23254366
thanks fella. I wish you the best.

>>23254386
So it does, if you get it.

>>23252806
Good thing Christ is eternal.

>>23254415
What was it like growing up gay in the 70s-80s?

>>23254245
Heh, rookie numbers. I'm only 25 and have outlived two brothers. Stupid boomer can't keep up with us young folk

Wtf I made a post but it didn't show up in the thread. What's up with that

>>23254396
Likewise.

I should probably talk to someone but instead I'll bottle everything up for years on end and then probably lose it and kill myself. Oh well.

>>23254443
Sadpost and I'll listen and really pay attention, even if I don't respond. It's not the same as talking to a real person face to face, believe me I know, but there's someone that will read a huge blogpost if you want to write.

>>23252680
I recall the wind hitting my face in a cool, welcoming waft as I gazed out over the valley below. From the top of a plateau, I could see the basin of what was once an ancient lake, the dull grass providing an appropriate substitute for the sand I imagined was under the massive lake then, perhaps a plesiosaur doing barrel rolls on a day much like to day, way back then. I am the plesiosaur, I thought with a satisfied smile, continuing to add to the landscape in my mind.

>>23254443
That's pretty gay and retarded

>>23254423
Once you were out of High School it was a whole other world from about 1978 on. I was "out" to everyone I knew by 1983, and by then no one who grew up in comfy suburbs gave a shit one way or another

>>23254465
Too bad AIDs didn't get you

anons what was your first love like?

>>23254470
Beatiful, innocent but painful at the end

>>23254470
A rapid flash of meeting, fucking, pregnancy, drama, and unilateral abortion within 6 months. We carried on for a number of years after, slogging through it. I've left her behind in my history, but I'll never forget her eyes. We weren't right for each other, but the physical connection surged when we made eye contact, either across the room or in bed. I do not miss her, but I miss the 'us' that is now stuck in the happier days leading up to all baggage that sunk us. I offer anyone with a love or a recently-lost love to keep some part of it, because 10+ years on, when you aren't obsessed with sex, you can remember things about a woman such as her eyes and not, for example, how sloppy she sucked your cock or how tight her asshole was when she came. It's more than that and it always will be.

>>23254470
It was first grade. I was maybe 6 years old. There was this gorgeous red haired girl in my class. So naturally at recess I would chase her around the playground trying to kiss her. My love was unrequited

>>23253808
Yes, quite interesting. I didn't even think of C&P when I wrote that, but yeah there is a lot of similarity. However, I don't want to prove I can do it, and I don't want to know if I am a great man either (I am not); I just want to do what's right and at the same time discover whether I really can, or maybe if I was always wrong.

>>23254481
C'est la vie. Mine was the same. But I'm so glad I experienced it because love is such an amazing feeling that it gave me hope. Even when it was over I still had hope just because of how beautiful it had been.

>>23254470
I've never been in love

>>23254470
I have never met a woman that I had romantic interest in, oddly enough. That doesn't stop me from inventing fantasies about random women I knew (that never leave fantasy, and I never develop romantic interest in the actual woman herself).

I always wanted to find a woman I felt genuine interest in, but I don't think I'm capable.

>>23254468
Rude desu.

>>23254424
Irony detected. Already I'm way over twice your age. Now imagine being my paternal grandfather, 1884-1992.

I’ve never spoken to anyone as inconsistent. I have no idea what to think. She has only ever started a conversation once and then didn’t say much afterwards. Some days she will talk to me constantly, other days she will only talk sparingly. Sometimes seconds go by until she responds, other days it takes over an hour for her just to read a message. She’s either shy or just weird. The former I totally understand knowing her background but I would hate if she’s just a strange person oblivious to her inconsistency

>>23254468
It had a better chance with you.

>>23254366
how'd you survive the 80s? strictly monogamous?

>>23254151
I was walking in a mall when the engorging occurred. People were already looking at me because I'm a white dude in Asia, and I think some girls might have recorded me on their phones they were holding. So there might be a video of my huge boner on the Asian Internet.

Tolstoy was a great artist because his life was varied and full of incredible experience
Dostoevsky was a great artist because his life was varied and full of incredible experience
Hemingway was a great artist because his life was varied and full of incredible experience

What experience does anyone today have? Rotting alone in their bedrooms after work? Writing professionally for mainstream bourgeois publications? How can great art emerge from these circumstances?

>>23254552
based bonerCHAD. never let them make you feel ashamed of your fat hog.

>>23254558
art will always perservere

>>23254470
All-consuming. Probably obsessive, certainly unhealthy. Every thought was of her. I would wake up in the middle of the night and my first thought would dart to her, and I wouldn't be able to sleep again. I was in agony trying to build up the courage to ask her out. Every day I didn't do it my agony increased exponentially.

She wasn't the most feminine woman I knew. She was tiny, flat, no ass, dressed like a guy. But despite that she had the most effervescent feminine energy that eclipsed the most "typically feminine" women I knew. I don't really know how to explain it, but her aura was genuinely and purely female. Women who really tried to be womanly (e.g. dressing elaborately, exaggerating or highlighting their natural assets, wearing nice perfumes and makeup, ones who really leaned into the "identity" of being a woman), couldn't compare to her. Despite her appearance she was the most heavenly womanly woman I had ever seen. The instances where I made her happy were one of the high points of my life.

>>23254558
You get the unique experience of staying in your room all day and slowly losing your mind. A sharp guy with a decent self-education could very well make good use of it, I think.

>>23254582
I get you. I like a girl I interact with at my job and she always comes in looking all dishevelled with her hair messy without makeup and wearing dark clothes. She's pretty and there's something so human about her.

>>23254470
all my loves were amazing. my first real, yearslong, true love was the most happy thing that ever happened to me and the cause of the worst feelings I've ever had. she's soundless pain I carry everywhere now, going in the background. on her side, she's living her life. I will never forget her. she is the person I've spent the most time with in the world, the person I knew the most, the human being I was the most attached to, even more than my parents who never cared about me. if humans share parts of each other, I am more her than anyone else.
It's been years and I can still recall with pinpoint accuracy what she smelled like, what kissing her face felt like, her size relative to mine and even silly things like how she would excitedly show me her nails after having them done. sometimes after not meeting for a while, she would run into my arms and just by standing she would be exactly the right size for me to kiss her forehead.

what was she like? she was my everything. my best friend, my girlfriend and my truth. nothing in the world will ever compare to what she was and how she made me feel. after she left I became painfully aware of how little I cared about everyone else. she was the one who always pushed me to talk to old friends and family. suddenly nothing mattered. I still took her old advice to heart and kept some social contact but it's basically a pretense now. I became obsessed with the future and my career because they were the only tangible things I could attach to in my life. I haven't seen or talked with her in three years. I would be ashamed to see her again as she would instantly know my whole life after the breakup was deceit after deceit. I am unrecognizable from the person I once was. I would be happy of course to see her, but she is a living piece of my soul that I don't have any right to be with anymore. it'd break me.

>>23254607
Why did she leave you?

>>23254548
I didn't have sex with anyone (except myself) till 1998, except with a (yes) strictly monogamous boyfriend.

>>23254470
of the 3 genuine crushes I've had, none of them ever came to fruition. i never even went on a date with any. the first was very early and I barely remember anything other than trying to hide my feelings IRL and waiting for her response on AIM. the 2nd was a girl in my band class in HS.
I'd talk to her at the end of class, occasionally message her about a piece we were playing and one time I hung out with her at lunch. it's fuzzy now as to why I stopped trying to talk her. it may have been because she had strict parents but at the time I was so inexperienced with women it's hard to say. the third was a disastrous, alcohol-fueled saga that lasted for nearly two years. it was with a girl who had a boyfriend and loved to incite drama. she was what you would refer to as a BPD girl. Anyway I felt like I was being dragged through hell by all the inconsistent and flagrant behavior. Looking back it's all kind of mundane on the surface but when you've become attached in that way, every little flick of an eyelash feels significant. By the third, I had experience with women but usually with ones who i couldn't respect (sluts) or just generally unworthy women so I became crazy that I could never attain something I actually wanted. Anyway it revealed a lot about myself by the time it was over.

>>23254616
she wanted to break up because she didn't feel like I loved her. I was going through a hard phase at this time and wasn't around much. when difficult times like that happened we would talk a bit and then she'd stay over and we would fix our issues. one day we fought a bit on the phone over silly, really unimportant stuff (we planned to see each other that day of the week, but she misunderstood the exact date and I got frustrated) and she said "it's over". this time I let her go, because everything in my life went to shit at the same time and we had promised we would never be a burden for one another. about that time I also started having suicide ideation. I spent months alone in a dorm room, then maybe 4 to 5 months later a new friend of mine kissed me. I said yes to the new girl, since you know I got fucking dumped and my ex never called back.

a few months after breaking up with the new girl I didn't love nearly enough, I go grab some food and I stumble upon a friend we had in common. he said "man, why the fuck did you leave her [talking about my first love]? you're so stupid" lmao. for some reason everyone outside of our very close circle of friends believed I was the one to dump her. I called her and she told me to move on.

>read an old book
>speak like a victorian aristocrat for weeks straight
>talk with some zoomer
>speak like a hoodrat for weeks straight
Why the fuck am I so flexible?

>>23254643
>fagcel survives the gay plague because he's too autistic to get laid

I crave something deeper than love. I don't know what it is but I want it only.

Red wine
SNEED!
FUCK NIGGERS
Sneed.
Oh, you're gay?
That's cool. sneed.
I don't care
that you're gay
Fuck niggers.
Sneed.

>>23254470
If you count stuff like first crush, I was 5 years old and there was this cute girl I liked, but I had to transfer to another school the following year. I still remember her name.
But if it's real love, someone you'd do anything for, then I'll be damned, lol. I fell for a couple more girls around my age before that, but I was 21 when I realized I had completely fallen for someone I had known for a few years, I'd say 2 years by then. If you want a tl;dr, it was like shattering my own heart by myself. If not, read on.
She was a couple years older, had a similar enough mindset but was prone to misunderstand others' actions because she was absolutely crippled by a fall from grace which she had never recovered from, and to that day she was still suicidal and led a rather rough life. In spite of this, she was a sweetheart and we'd spend long hours together just chatting and playing some old games, just as friends. I still remember her voice... Eventually she began to open up about stuff from her past, rough childhood, suddenly moving overseas, hints and allegories about what drove her that low, and in turn I began to talk about my own life, which had not been nearly that eventful, but still.
And then, absolute hell. To sum it up, I did something controversial in order to protect her from some bad repercussion, and she thought I had stabbed her in the back. We ghosted each other for a week or two, until I approached her back, and fuck me. I was still mad at her, but she was completely brutal, and I understood our friendship was pretty much broken. We still talked afterwards, but it wasn't the same thing. She treated me like some old friend she didn't really care about anymore, until things changed and we lost contact with each other.
We met again a year and a few months later by complete accident, and right that moment I knew something was up. She seemed to treat me nicely, though a bit distant still, but the thins is that I felt nervous around her, and didn't know why, until like a week or so later when I realized it. And it frightened me to the soul. I just knew she did not see me that way and would push me away if I confessed, and even if she didn't, there was nothing I could have done for her. No "I can fix her," nonsense, no. Yet I still felt like confessing. I realized then that if I didn't do something about it, and quick, I'd forever chase that unicorn. Worst of all, she sensed I had been avoiding her and asked me what was wrong, before I could make up my mind while I still had some peace of mind...
So I burned the bridge. I just told her with a straight face that I still couldn't bring myself to trust her after that huge fight (and I really couldn't) and we should just stop seeing each other. She got defensive, I insisted, and then the shitstorm. I knew I'd further shattered her broken heart, and how it tortured me. But either I barred my love for her or it would kill me.
Thanks for reading this huge blog, I guess.

>>23254679
Gay sex

I would've been a poet had i been born in an era of poets. I was born in the era of retards.

>>23254727
Well, are you unironically retarded?

>>23254714
Nta but i've recently read a youthful gay romance story and that shit broke me.
It was about two dudes who wanted to escape an extremely dull village life but one of them betrayed the other and then it's just a time-skip of 30 years with the betrayer remaining in life-stasis and being unable to move past the events of his youth in any meaningful way.

Idk something about that just grippwe my heart super hard. I don't like penises though

>>23254731
Who isn't thsse days?
We all have lead in our bones and no nuttitional value to speak of in any of our foods.
The average person is retarded and very likely developmentally stunted in more ways than one

I'm at a particularly strange low point in my late 20s. I'm romantically attracted to a cousin eight years younger than me who I never even knew existed until last year. I hardly ever get romantic towards someone, and now this slowly came to be and I think about her everytime I listen to songs. From the way we speak and chat I feel it's mutual, and that makes me feel bad for her. She's such an innocent, poor thing. She's of age yet seems so sheltered. I want to protect her.

I had a doctors appointment again yesterday and I walked there in the rain and the doctor said I seemed rlly depressed and lethargic again just like the last two times she saw me so overall I’m not getting better although she said I seemed less anxious than when she first saw me last year when I was all frantic and paranoid but that I seemed a lot more sad and stuff so getting worse in a different way maybe and she asked me if i was thinking about killing myself and I said no because I’m not rlly thinking about it I’m too tired anyway i can’t even focus and then she said “that no doesn’t sound very convincing”

she referred me to see a different psychiatrist who she said can figure out what medication I need and tell me what’s wrong with me but I saw a psychiatrist before actually I saw two different ones the first one just regularly for a psychoeducational eval when I was already sad about it but before any of the rlly bad things happened and then the second one when I was in the hospital, and the first one I saw wrote a whole report that he sent me and he said a lot of different things but he didn’t say that i was delusional in the report because I went back and looked at it today and he didn’t say anything about me being crazy like that but some of what he said made me feel really scared and i can’t even remember what the second psychiatrist said lshe said I was depressed or something and that was why I didn’t want to be alive anymore but things could get better someday or I don’t know like the same things they always say and she wanted to know why but I couldn’t tell her why because I was rlly upset and I didn’t even want to talk to anyone because I was so ashamed and I don’t even like thinking about it

and the second psychiatrist also said “always take meds, take Effexor every day so you can get better” but I didn’t take the Effexor she gave me I was scared of it because I read a essay about how horrible Effexor withdrawal is in this really fucking weird book of essays called “So Sad Today” by Melissa Broder that my best friend lent me in 2021 and she said the book was really good amd it actually was weirdly interesting in the sense that it evoked a certain horrid fascination in me but I remember it wasn’t well written at all and the author seemed really vapid and narcissistic and fucked up and gross in a way that was incredibly off-putting and there was stuff in that book that was so fucked up that you couldn’t even waterboard that kind of information out of me like for example she wrote this whole essay about how she had a fetish for watching people vomit and other fucked up ones I can’t remember and anyway I didn’t want to take Effexor because I didn’t want to develop the thought processes that Melissa broder has and become like her

>>23254678
Not really, It's called common sense, the will to survive, among other things. This is not to mention that there's a lot more to life than sex.

>>23254759
I imagine this to be you
https://youtu.be/ArIxAJAVDYQ?si=wM3tIETsTlW3fN9X

Within the bounds of his work, the dominion of the artist is absolute. He is, for all intents and purposes, God. Therefore it is no wonder puny nerds and creativity are a match made in heaven.

I'm not fond of the Jewish nation.

>>23254756
Generally I'm one to read rants and walls of texts and not complain about it like some faggot zommers do, but not this one. Nearly 2.9k characters and just ONE comma.
I kind of got the gist of it though, so I truly hope you get better soon, but PLEASE, at least help me give you some proper (You)s.

>>23254808
>zoomers
Fixed.

>>23254776
Weird and way off.

Jews used black magic to corrupt the comprehension of 8 billion peoples of clothing and fashion. As a result of this I am left in this hellish planet where every other article of clothing is some neon red feeble thing that disintegrates within a week of being bought.

>>23254808
I’m sorry, I’ll try to use better punctuation. it’s just that when I’m feeling really upset sometimes I have to write really fast and I don’t think about using punctuation as much as I usually would because my thoughts are going really fast

>>23254756
Meds are shit, and the withdrawal will fuck you up. Don't take them unless it's literally a life or death situation.

>>23254819
I've been wearing the same clothes for ten years

>>23252680
---- Solaria ----
9070

El Chichon

From the standpoint of red evening skies
Mt Pinatubo was a dull event
More disaster than

Delight

>>23254822
I figured it was something like that, so on one hand I still felt bad for complaining cause it seemed like there's a circumstance. Still, I felt my brain farting midway through.
Be careful of some of those meds btw. It's really a fucked up situation where you do want to get better and leave those fucked up thoughts behind, but just looking into the meds and their side effects makes you ponder if you're actually going somewhere. I'm not sure what I'd do in that case, it's like playing a rigged game.

>>23254039
well keep being a net, especially if you have the financial means

you can look at normies' lives, like consuming videogames and movies, but you can also lean on the spiritual side with meditation too, something normies don't have the means to be good at it

John is a very beautiful gospel

feeling very bored with my job
wanna quit it

>>23254815
No no you definitely have that weird creepy old gay guy attitude

gonna write some hot smut today

Failed my job certificate exam, a re-try is in few months. Hopefully i'll pass the next go-around. Probably not though since it's pretty hard.

Feelsbad all in all.

These random Thai peasants have been Wikipedia's illustration of "Human" for like 17 years now.

Just received GST so I ordered myself some Church's Chicken. Uber Eats had a really good deal where they were offering a 2 piece chicken with drink (BOGO) for $15.10. Usually a 4 piece is like twenty dollars. These are huge pieces of dark meat keep in mind. It came to $18.27 after Uber Eats took their share. Should be arriving in about ten minutes.

when was the last time you took a full breath?

over the last 5 novels i've read on my ereader i've averaged a little less than 160 wpm. i think ive turned myself retarded after 8 years of idleness. i was probably retarded to begin with actually.

>>23252806
Why not both? According to Spengler, by the time of Rome, everyone was a Stoic, even the anti-Stoics. Ethical socialism can be both of those, it can be radical insurrectionary gay space communism.
> I just think both of these will be an unmitigated tragedy
Can you tell me why you think so, in a detailled way, I mean, please? Not that I disagree, but I would want to read yout thoughts on the subject. However, I would like to remind you that in late Autumn to Winter technological and even technical progress slows down to a crawl and might even stop entirely.
>>23252859
In Spenglerian terms, there's a higher chance of western civilization undergoing a mass conversion into Scientology-like mystery initiation cults dedicated to the Virgin of Guadalupe and Falun Gong than christianity making a comeback, desu.
The only way christianity is making a comeback on the west is if people on the future latch onto very butchered Russian Orthodoxy for our second religiosity.
>>23252979
Well, according to Spengler the next model of society is very obvious, it is called despotism. This whole stage of Faustian civilization is just
>Constitutional/lawful rule-------->Breakdown into oligarchy and ochlocracy---------->The politics of force triumph over the politics of money-------->Chvd Imperivm.
At least as I understand it.

everything in my life up until now, all the signs point to the fact that I need to Stop Making Sense (1984). my only way forward is to abandon rational thought.

I want to know something, but I don't want to spend the time learning it.

>>23255105
They included an extra thigh piece :D

>>23252680
I went to a town in the mountains today, it was a cool place and also a very enjoyable excursion. Had to wait a long time for the bus back, though.
>>23255105
>>23255216
I'm happy for you and all but you sound miserable. No offence.
And I don't mean in the sense of being sad.

>>23255239
You sound like a real genial individual, don't you, you fucking guy?

>>23255244
You do sound very miserable. I'm sorry, but you do.

>>23252680
I'm a sociopath and I'm not happy about it.
I feel things. But they are limited to anger or jealousy, most of the time.
I think it's because I hit my head once. I was unconscious for twenty minutes. Never had a CT scan, maybe I should.
It feels like I'm missing something important. Like having a missing limb or nerve damage. I know I should feel certain things, but I cannot.
I isolate myself from society because I've emotionally damaged other people. I don't know how, only that I am very good at it, from what I have been told. I do not understand how I can do this without consciously recognizing most social cues.
I've given up lying because I cannot remember my own lies. Now I only tell the truth, but that makes me sound autistic.
Thank you for listening to my blog.

>>23255248
Don't gaslight me, faggot.

>>23254470
Never happened.

What should I read next /lit/?

>>23255305
don quixote

>>23254470
Wasn't reciprocated LOL

The thought of starting a conversation with my mom becomes unappealing as soon as I remember that she planned to remain my legal guardian even after I'd turned 18, basically rendering me disabled/unable to make decisions for myself forever. How do you connect with someone who sees you as less than a person?

>>23254470
she was schizophrenic. in retrospect she was in prodrome when we met. she declined over the course of the couple years we were together and hid the severity of her illness (didn't tell me when she started seeing a shrink until well after the fact, same for her diagnosis, meds, etc). she was also a habitual liar and it got to the point where I was constantly trying to distinguish her delusions from her deliberate lies. that was ultimately what ruined the relationship for me, and I left her because it was too painful to be with her. looking back, maybe I could've salvaged the relationship if I had been more willing to confront her on her dishonesty, but I didn't have a spine back then. I have not seen a vagina since the last time I had sex with her in October of 2017

>>23255297
That is not what gaslighting is, thoughie.
Celebrating getting a discount in takeout you bought using tax refunds (I assume) is extremely miserable.
>>23255321
How would that even work? Would she have you declared unable to take care of yourself?
Seems cuntish of her, and very over-protective.

>>23255347
I am extremely sorry if my autism ruined your chicken meal, though.

all i have is rote memorization what do I do

>>23255407
memorize until you can dupe people into thinking you're clever

>>23255412
I actually do this but i feel like a soulless bug person

>>23255355
Lol it's okay anon.

is it possible to get wet brain without noticing it? like maybe I got a mild case somewhere down the line and I've just been walking around dumber than I used to be without realizing it. lately I've been struggling with things I didn't used to find so difficult, and I don't know when this started happening. the way I talk is what's most effected, I used to be very articulate but now I struggle to come up with appropriate responses in conversation and i just blurt out nonsense like a fucking retard. i think it's alcohol related but I've been sober for two months and it's not getting better

>>23255439
>is it possible to get wet brain without noticing it?
Yeah it's not like alcoholics or people with shitty diets are consciously destroying themselves. Just take a b complex vitamin for a couple months and keep yourself hydrated. They're one of the safer vitamin groups so you probably won't fuck yourself more with them.

>>23252680
The sexual impulse is a grave burden that I cannot excise from myself.

>>23255470
what price are you willing to pay to be free of it?

>>23255493
Castration is a grave sin. Also my loss of the sexual impulse as a consequence of it would be meaningless in the sight of God. No crowns will be earned.

>>23255504
God freaks like you are boring. Go join a monastery or something

>>23255545
I'm not cut out for the monastic life

>>23255555
numbers

>>23255558
Numbers confirm I shouldn't be a monk

>>23254337
He's not a happy camper in any sense of the terms. Same for his old lady. I think of the Play as a precursor to the true crime genre.

EDIT PIAF SAID IT BETTER

I'm autistic and my stim behavior is jacking off

I was looking at a bunch of Japanese people's bios on a language learning/exchanging app and in one guy's bio one of his interests was simply "Hamburger", I chuckled.

You can tell he's white by how he raps

>>23252713
It seems all cars are made for driving your family around now. What I don't like is that it doesn't feel like you're controlling the machine but vice versa

Till the age of 28 I thought that all I really lacked for was a gf. Now that every woman I've ever met has thoroughly disappointment me I've had a change of heart. Now I'd like a dog instead.

decided to go back to school at an older age for another degree (mid 30's, I remember when /b/ was more than just fucking porn).
I hid my power level completely for the longest time, until recently I started pushing zoomers (early 20's college students) very subtly; meaning being very agreeable while also suggesting merit-based hiring might mean something (as an example).
Fuckin' wow, lads.
I think zoomers may have been misjudged.
I know this is anecdotal, BUT, without fail, every single early-20's male has expressed the same concern, anger, and slight appreciation of being able to talk about, everything from diversity hiring (one them brought that phrase up himself and was pissed, he had stories of friends (some even female) that were not hired in basic positions because they didn't fill racial quotas) to being attacked on social media and real life over being white.
I've run into older students (late 20's-30's) that share the same view.
Again, without fail, EVERY male I've spoken to shares the same concern, and this is across a about ~15 different students at least. Again, anecdotal, but I've yet to run into someone who says otherwise.
So that's the whitepill, they may be smarter than we realized.
Here's the tail end of this: the women.
Holy hell, we're fucked.
If every male I talk to is based, well every female is full-blown pants-on-head retarded, with at least half being basically anti-white. It's actual madness. Bare in mind, I didn't make this thread to suggest that women being retarded is new, but rather to give on-the-ground experience.
In other words, zoomer culture may be retarded, but there really is A LOT to save there (and a lot to work on).
Anyone else experience something similar when dealing with these newborns?

My balls tight as HELL rn

>>23255707
Yeah, every man including black men stangely enough are sort of receptive to the idea that white men are being discriminated against. Women seem to be completely retarded and closed off to all ideas.
The reason is simple: Women always align with what they perceive is the peer consensus. Women consider the "one race: the human race" to be their "peer group" and they believe whatever CNN and big daddy government says is the official opinion of the human race, so they rabidly parrot anything that sounds official.

If white supremacist ultra-sexists were to take power (which I don't agree with, by the way) I would be willing to bet all the money I have that most women (even blacks desu) would scream "NIGGER!" at every nigger on the street and call for women to be executed for abortion or fornication. This is just how women are and always have been, it's been a common theme in all literature for all time.

Going to scrub myself clean and then go walk in rain

>>23255707
>>23255722
Women do not have the ability to use independent thought. I once met a libertarian woman (I hate libertarianism) but she really interested me because I liked that she was different from the norm and had opinions different from what's expected. It was super attractive, honestly, that she was able to suppress the need to align with her peers.

Come to find out she was a rabid progressive before and recently married a libertarian. LOL

>>23255677
What disappointed you?

>>23255729
>>23255707
>>23255722
Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.

>>23255707
We're going down the same road as South Korea.
Which is a disaster. The men and women will outright hate each other in no less than 10 years. You see it starting now already.
What's needed is people being elevated who have a healthy relationship with each other.
What will happen because of social media however, is that people like the 'redpill' guys, seething feminists etc will dominate the conversation.
Sub 1.0 TFR here we come

>>23255677
>Till the age of 38 I thought that all I really lacked for was a dog. Now that every dog I've ever met has thoroughly disappointment me I've had a change of heart. Now I'd like a cat instead.

>>23255727
Nice, enjoy lad.

>>23255749
>Till the age of 48 I thought that all I really lacked for was a cat. Now that every cat I've ever met has thoroughly disappointment me I've had a change of heart. Now I'd like a lizard instead.

>>23255727
You're in Sydney aren't you?

>>23255745
Read Popper and Soros' defense of the open society. This is all part of preserving liberal democracy by increasing social competition and destroying so called "organic society." :') I hate liberal democracy.

>>23255751
>Till the age of 58 I thought that all I really lacked for was a lizard. Now that every lizard I've ever met has thoroughly disappointment me I've had a change of heart. Now I'd like a hamster instead.

>>23255745
At my friend's parish the men becoming increasingly reactionary for lack of a better term. The women are making excuses for not coming to church and want to dip their toes into 'muh career'

>>23255761
>Till the age of 68 I thought that all I really lacked for was a hamster. Now that every hamster I've ever met has thoroughly disappointed me I've had a change of heart. Now I'd like a tarantula instead.

>>23255768
>Till the age of 78 I thought that all I really lacked for was a Tarantula. Now that every tarantula I've ever met has thoroughly disappointed me I've had a change of heart. Now I'd like a goldfish instead.

>>23255770
Anon then died at the age of 87, throughly disappointed with his extensive collection of Goldfish.

>>23255774
But the last thought on his mind, as he stared into the dreary off-white ceiling of the hospital room?
>"But I never had that change of heart. All I really lacked for was a woman."

>>23255760
And this is because they want to stop fascism at the root. Because they're Jews and fear the holocaust.
>>23255767
Road to ruin. All I can say is keep looking for a decent woman.

>>23255745
>>23255767
nta but see picrel for reference
women don't want to be ordered around by their husband and the father of their children but want to be ordered around by strangers to have le more shopping money (literally in this case as half or more of their money goes into rent they wouldn't have to pay otherwise) and fuck more people. men on the other side want to live simple human lives. society has gone to shit and we know who is right

Why do you think university faculty and students are so universally progressive and revolutionary? Do you think there’s something inherent about the university which creates this sentiment or attracts it or is it simply that universities affirm the status quo and our status quo is exactly progress and revolution?

>>23255806
You need to be relatively comfortable or very very fucking good to get into one, and most of them would prefer to think they're smart and not simply middle class

>>23255806
University students have been revolutionary since the institution came to being. Mostly because its a center of learning and new ideas, were young intelligent people could get together and talk.
Now, progressive has more to do with the long marh and thing slike that.
>>23255811
The middle class is already unfairly maligned as it is. No need to bring them into it.

I've never been an object of desire for other.

>>23255811
In my experience, it’s relatively easy to get into one. In fact, sort of virtue signaling your progressive politics makes it very easy. But this doesn’t really answer the question.

>>23255871
Is that really true though? My scholarship suggests otherwise. Universities were strongly conservative up to the revolutionary wars, and even after that in some instances. The universities in the British empire were largely conservative. They were largely conservative in pre-modern Europe, being tied closely to the equivalents of the civil service and church, in the Byzantine empire, in the caliphate. The history of the progressive university is relatively recent. They were right wing in Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy, but I think they were more of a reactionary progressive than truly conservative. They supported revolutionary movements in Nazism and Fascism after all. Still, it’s interesting that few people know Hitler and the Nazis had enormous support among academics in Germany.

>>23255908
There is a difference between universities and their students.
Universities are still strongly conservative as institutions. The majority of academia is made up of eccentrics who have strong opinions on society but mostly don't act on them. The Marxist academic is a sort of monkey in a cage that will not move a finger in favour to support the revolution and stave his conscience by teaching.
Because it is precisely the students who have always been progressive. A student that becomes a successful academic is the scholarly equivalent of the hippie to white collar management pipeline.

>>23252680
I just bought some nail stickers for my keyboard instead of new keycaps. I highly recommend. Life hack.

>>23252680
I'm too low IQ to care about anything, thank god.
May whatever rules this world end my suffering soon.

>>23256022

What's with the Romantics thinking Satan was the hero of Paradise Lost? Were they just lacking media literacy skills?

>>23255924
>Universities are still strongly conservative as institutions. The majority of academia is made up of eccentrics who have strong opinions on society but mostly don't act on them. The Marxist academic is a sort of monkey in a cage that will not move a finger in favour to support the revolution and stave his conscience by teaching.
This is pretty funny desu
That's the whole point. The academic elite keeps their hands clean while fomenting dumb proles to riot in the streets and, if all goes well, do the rebellion on their own. Universities are definitely not conservative as an institution, that seems mostly like a cope from a leftist to try, quite desperately, to preserve the narrative that fascist white men control everything.

>>23256030
Thanks
>>23256064
Difference in standpoint, I think. Satan can appear sympathetic if you don't see serving a sovereign forever as a good thing, among other things.
I myself have often agreed with "Better to rule in Hell, than serve in Heaven" as a statement.
>Were they just lacking media literacy skills?
To be honest, media literacy is a meme, often it is just people ignoring the obvious message and coming out with thier own.

>>23255924
in democracy academia is a subset of the entertainment industry

I'm going to name my child Platon despite never reading any of that stuff in my life. I hope he's big and strong

Ah, the smell of spring...

It reeks of the recurring truth: that no woman has ever earnestly romantically or sexually approached me, or reciprocated my approaches, supported me, cared for my health and wellbeing, let alone loved me, only at best trying to entice me to give them my attention with their worthless words and lies, in the friendzone.

To truth and true friendship. And to this year, the year of the wizard. And a lifetime of loneliness most women won't ever be capable of comprehending. Happy birthday to me.

>>23255796
Never should've let them have voting rights. Now they're destroying our civilizations. Boys, we made a mistake with this one.

>virtue
substance
>corruption
negation
>return to virtue with knowledge of corruption and its consequences
negation of negation

>>23256310
The discourse a lot of 'right wing' women are having now is the following:
If you say that women are past their sexual prime after 30, they will vote for the Left. Even though they admit that the Left is pro chaos and will be worse for the country. Just because some Right wing commenters say that women are past their prime, they would help the enemy gain control out of spite.

Many 'big' 'Right' women commenters have been saying this. Democracy is a joke.

>>23256331
I haven't entirely given up on democracy, but maybe it's inevitable. I just love the idea of liberal democracy. I love the idea of women being free and good. I love the idea of people being permitted to do what they want, and to have enough understanding to agree not to do certain obvious evils.
Unfortunately, that seems to be utter fantasy, and liberal democracy has put itself squarely on the side of ineffable evil.

>>23255707
I always know right away that these posts are either bullshit or retarded because they totally fail to account for bias or else they just blatantly lie. Of course the women in university are generally progressive. How is this remotely a shock? If a woman was trad, why would she go to university. As for the males, you’re just full of shit. IRL the men are nearly as bad as the women.

Here’s an idea. Go get a job at a public space for socializing, like a bar. Listen to the conversations. Almost all women and most men are progressive idiots. They are totally brainwashed. This whole “the zoomer men are based” is a blatant fucking lie.

>>23256431
It's clearly documented that while on a whole the zoomer generation are progressive, that seems to be almost entirely driven by women swinging more progressive, not because the men have done so as well.

Found this painting from 1900...no one cared to take a photo of this woman?? Werent there any coomers around back then? Cant believe this.

>>23256296
may this ancient tarantula bless you with the secrets of magic

>>23256447
That doesn’t even make sense. Either they’re more progressive as a whole or there’s one group that is even more progressive, in which case it doesn’t make sense to say they’re more progressive as a whole.

The truth is that almost all of the women are progressive and most of the men are also progressive. They’re both progressive. The men are just as a matter of fact not conservative or reactionary, not even mostly.

I just keep drinking and hoping that it might bring my creative power.

>>23256530
It makes sense sine I said that it's *almost* entirely because of women.
You're misunderstanding it. It's not either they're progressive or not, it's on a scale. And that scale tips more to progressive than with millennials but that is *almost* entirely because of women.

Same thing with all the news about how zoomies are more LGBT.
Turns out *almost* all of it is because women see themselves as Bi.
It's not because a great deal of boys troon out or suck cock all of a sudden.

They call me the hobbit of jerking off

I'm on Second Wankses and already making plans for the Midnight Goon

>>23256565
No that literally doesn’t make sense. How can a population AS A WHOLE be getting more progressive because of some group which IS NOT THE WHOLE or even close to the whole is getting more progressive? That makes no sense. Either the whole is getting more progressive or it’s not.

There's a certain book I read a while ago, Crazy Like Us, 2 pages of which (about schizophrenia in Zanzibar, compared to what's established of it in the US) have been in my mind ever since. I guess this counts as writing what's on my mind.
>Given my cultural background, I was incapable of believing that these men were possessed by spirits. Indeed I find it difficult to think of the biological explanation for mental illness as fungible cultural “belief” or “narrative.” I assume, in short, that it is the scientific truth. But as I later thought of my brief visit to the locked ward at Kidongo Chekundu I began to wonder about the meaning behind these certainties.
>If you ask me what it means that schizophrenia is related to genes, for instance, I will say that people with a family history of schizophrenia are at greater risk. Although this appears to be statistically true, that is pretty much the extent of my actual knowledge on the topic of the genetic precursors to schizophrenia. My scientific understanding of abnormalities in brain chemistry related to the disease is similarly limited. So although I deeply believe that the biomedical explanation for mental illness is likely true, that certainty does not come with a degree in biochemistry or genetics.
>If these beliefs have so little weight, why do I continue to hold to them so tightly? Beliefs about mental illness—and this is as true in the United States as it is in Zanzibar—are first and foremost testaments to group membership. By attesting to my biomedical orientation, I am placing myself in that group of people who I believe have a “sophisticated” and “knowledgeable” orientation to the mentally ill. I am placing myself in the group of doctors, biomedical researchers, clinicians, and scientists. Note that, unlike the spirit possession belief common in Zanzibar, the group I’m affiliating myself with does not include the mentally ill themselves. Aside from their objective truth or falsehood, one meaningful way to compare cultural beliefs about mental illness is to ask this simple question: Which cultural beliefs tend to exclude the sufferer from the social group and which allow the ill individual to remain part of the group?
1/2

>>23256584
2/2
>Accounts written by patients themselves and their loved ones make it clear just how stigmatizing the biomedical explanation can be. Here, for example, is D. A. Granger writing of his experiences years after being diagnosed with schizophrenia in his first year of Harvard Medical School:

>I have spent years . . . clinging to the understanding that I was a defective biological unit. . . . This may truly be a valuable perspective for those who observe mental illness, but for me, as a subject, this tree bore only dry and tasteless fruit. . . .
>I have a chemical imbalance; I really didn’t feel those things.
>I have a chemical imbalance; I didn’t really experience those things.
>I have a chemical imbalance; I didn’t really think those things . . .
>Here is an insight! The entire human drama of love, suffering, ecstasy, and joy, just chemistry.

>Jay Neugeboren, writing about his schizophrenic brother, similarly asked, “[If he] . . . doesn’t hold onto his illness and its history as a legitimate, real and unique part of his ongoing self—what of him, at
fifty-two years old, will be left?”
>We ask people diagnosed with schizophrenia and those who love and care for them to adopt the brain chemistry narrative without consideration of the cost: the devaluing of the perceptions that make up the ill individual’s very sense of self. Indeed, as Granger suggests, the fact that healthy people do not dwell on the “brain chemistry” story as an explanation for their own moods and feelings should be an indication of how unappealing and dehumanizing the idea is. When we fall in love, get jealous, feel the joy of playing with a child, or experience religious ecstasy we do not describe the experience to friends as a fortunate or unfortunate confluence of brain chemicals. Yet we continue to suggest that the narrative of brain chemistry will be useful in lessening the stigma associated with a mentally ill person. What could be more stigmatizing than to reduce a person’s perceptions and beliefs to the notion that they are “just chemistry”? It is a narrative that often pushes the ill individual outside the group, allowing those who remain in the social circle to, as Mehta observed, view the ill person as “almost a different species.”

>>23256529
much appreciated

>>23256584
>>23256586
This hits the nail on the head, and I would say it's related (not directly! I have reading comprehension enough to know that the two are different but similar) to the way that we now view depression or depressive disorders as illnesses that sometimes "can't be fixed," and permit the cruel euthanasia of people who are, in a word, sad; All because they're "broken," because they're "defective units." What is more dehumanizing than to reduce a person's real suffering, rooted in their beliefs, their world, society, and experiences, to an imbalance in chemicals, and one which terminates in euthanasia?

Modern psychology is actually abomination and approaches everything almost backwards.

Im tired of drinking

>>23252680
"All of the arguments set forth by gadflies like Robert Sapolsky and Samuel Harris are refuted by the simple fact of the unearned prestige based on an ethnic Jewish tradition. Since the days of Spinoza, Jews have had a innate contempt for metaphysical libertarianism they happily. and with impunity enjoy foisting on a helpless Gentile population through passive aggressive nepotism, and a immense collective effort to rid the whole world of Christian influences. which is not too dissimilar similar to naturalists and pagans and revolves around a worship of nature, in that they is not intermediary between God's existence and the material world, also not too dissimilar to the biblical trope of worshipping a golden calf. Therefore they see no contradiction between the natural world and its material worth in the temporal world, instead of something that is immaterial and enduring. and not only that, in tandem with Judaism’s relationship with Gentiles, committed determinists display a constantly depressed woe-is-me attitude and are really committed to the idea that they bear no witness to agency nor are responsible for any of their actions and exhibit an extremely selfish attitude similar to solipsism; an equally self-refuting philosophy, only that solipsism has at least a sense of self at the very fundamental level, which already puts it leagues ahead of determinism’s lack of personal agency."

>>23252713
The worship of automobiles is something I don’t like about America. If I could live in a country that combines the right to arms and unlimited free speech with a suitable welfare system and a hyperefficient public transportation system I’d move there in a heartbeat.

>>23254310
Nice, however I personally keep my immense music interests and radio interests separate as I enjoy moreso hearing pirate news casts overall.

>>23254669
Typical biologically deterministic-coded zoomer

>>23254759
Actually sex is why you and I exist I’d say it’s pretty fundamental

>>23256582
Ah you're a pedantic little faggot.

>>23256740
He's gay though, so the kind of sex he's talking about doesn't serve a procreative function.

How come people care so much about one another? I can't bother unless I see it happening in front of me. Surely there is something wrong with my brain or everyone eise is pretending

>>23256633
Not him but the book he's talking about also deals with selling depression, specifically to Japan because they needed to be convinced they had something that needed a pill

You know what's bigger than a tuna?

>>23256997
Two tuna?

>>23256999
Incorrect. The answer is sunfish.

>>23257002
Oh, I would have never guessed that. My next guesses were
>Three tuna
>The Empire State Building
And
>Some whales

it is Friday. On Friday I wait until it's a reasonable hour (6pm) and finally have a beer.

>>23256999
Threena

I have grown extremely cynical but I don't feel like it is a disadvantage or something I should resent being. I would resent being deluded and fooled far, far more.

porn is either mainstream fake screaming boring or NIGGER SHITS ON ROTISSERIE CHICKEN.MP4

>>23257089
It's a trade off. I've become pretty cold and callous. It gets me through life pretty efficiently but sometimes I feel like a total monster

Autists have serious discussions about dbz powerlevels spanning hundreds of pages, trying to find clues and meaning in every scrap and throwaway line Toriyama (pbuh) every gave them. Not to mention they also have the anime as an alternative soure to interpret. There is something crazy about this clash of headcanons that will never ever get resolved because the creator never took dbz as serious as the fans.

this has been a nice and comfy /wwoym/, thanks guys.
i hope you have a nice day today.

>>23255792
>All I can say is keep looking for a decent woman
Pretty sad how tall an order this is now. If in the very institution where one might find a like-minded woman we're still dealing with this there's not much hope is there? I entrust these things to God. Seeing the state of women, there isn't much to pine over anyway. The annoying part is the continual nagging of the sexual impulse which doesn't really leave a man until he's older

things women don't understand:
>Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001)
>Une Soeur - Bastien Vives
thanks for listening.

IRL humiliation ritual tonight

Catwomen

>>23257196
Yeah it's hard to choose between Eartha Kitt, Michelle Pfeiffer and Julie Newmar, but that is my order

>>23256331
>they would help the enemy gain control out of spite
Remind why we let them into the public domain? It also proves the myth of the 'le based tradwoman'. Women are the masters of dual loyalties. Truly the Jews of gender
>>23256414
>In Heaven there is a monarchy; in Hell a democracy

>>23257203
I like how they did Julie's eyebrows.

>>23257238
Eartha Kitt sounds more like a cat than most cats

I made two retarded decisions about where I moved in the past. I now have to make another decision and I don’t want to fuck it up this time.

>>23257302
visit the place, ask the people around if the place has changed in the last years, see if it rings good or bad news for you

Why does anyone use this website if the mods delete every good thread?

New
>>23257345
>>23257345