/lit/ - Literature

>>22439609
Kek
Never actually played duke nukeum
Is it worth it?

>>22439582
so bad

>>22439641
Original is good, the hitscan can be bullshit but you sort of get used to it

Watch one of Civvie's review of its episodes/expansions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sJ1f20R10I

>>22439663
Why?
Say more

>>22439582
People curse anon, its fine. If its post apocalyptic you could totes make up curses or something

>>22439672
Not worrying about cursing general dude
Just like in someone’s unspoken thoughts
Does it read wel to you?

How and why does a bar smell like a corpse? Corpses have a very distinct smell; ferrous, in the beginning, rotting fish, later. Why would this bar smell like that?

>>22439678
To me it reads juvenile and like a millennial faggot like Chuck Wendig trying to be cool to zoomers

I don't think you're going to get very positive responses from /lit/ since people here aren't very in tune with whatever YA shit people read nowadays, preferring classical/canonical lit

>>22439680
>How and why does a bar smell like a corpse?
It’s not immediately obvious to the main character but if you don’t mind a mild spoiler (on a book I don’t know if I’ll ever finish) she initially thinks it’s due to some petty debtor or raider being gunned down and left unhurried due to no one wanting to dig a grave in the heat
What she comes to learn in time is the bar serves long pork

>>22439684
It’s not just written in that manner (though the character herself is something of an appeal to that audience I suppose; as well as one I’ve had probably the longest in my head)
If it helps at all the book will by and large not be written from her POV
It’s just a point of divergence to mark her chapters and to some extent force myself to writer her thoughts differently from the men in the story

Everyone's internal monologue will be a bit different because everyone's mind is a bit different. Upon introspection, I don't think swear words appear much in my inner happenings but everyone is different I suppose.

>”The Georgia bar stank like a fucking corpse”
>”Jade sat her ass down on the deer”

These seem more like pieces of dialogue or spoken narrative than internal monologue in my view.

>>22439582
>Is this a useful mechanism to differentiate the character??
Yes, but shouldn't be the only one.

>>22439582
Yes, it's good.

>>22440138
OP seems to be talking about free indirect discourse, in the manner of Jane Austen or (later) James Joyce. Or, what Hugh Kenner calls "the Uncle Charles Principle."

Basically, the idea OP is getting at is that the narration will become colored with the flavoring of the speech of the character on whom the perspective currently rests. So the supposedly "omniscient third person" narrator starts to take on the feel and the sound of the character that that narrator is currently describing.

I do this myself in my own writing. When you pull it off I think it's a good effect. I would encourage OP to go through with his plan. If his supposedly-omniscient narrator is dwelling on a character prone to using profanity, I like the idea that the narration features a bit of profanity as well.

Not too much, but just a bit of "pollution" off the third-person narration by the character that narration currently focuses on.

>>22439582
So, essentially, you're asking if you can write a chapter in the dialect or style the character narrating speaks in? Yes, of course, although your examples felt somewhat forced.

>>22441002
You're talking about it like it's some profound literary thing. Literally 99% of all commercial fiction does this.

>>22441018
Yeah but not everybody does it well. It all depends on OP's talent, in the end.

>>22439582
I think it could work if the writings good, could easily turn cringe if you use it too much. Try writing out a chapter with that style and have some people read it. If they point it out positively keep going and if they say it's bad just go back and fix it.

>>22440138
Agreed. I swear often in my internal monologue and none of it sounds like that. It's more like "Fuck!" or "look at this fucking idiot".