/biz/ - Business & Finance

Let's say, hypothetically, there is a device attached to your penis which will rip it off your body if one of the coins you buy doesn't do a 10x. You are given an option from a random list of coins:

SEI
BEAMX
THETA
BONK
PYTH
MANTA
ENJIN
API3

Why do you buy to save your cock from obliteration?

If BTC performing is performing like this now, then altcoins... *GULP*

Notice how the only coins pumping after Bitcoin are ones that weren't around last bull run.

Some Japanese guy I know was going on about how he put a lot of his money into a NISA and I asked him about the annual ROI and he told me it's 0.05%. Are Japanese people really this retarded?

DOT is about to 2x

This week is going to be a bloodbath isn't it?

It's 2024, bitcoin is 37% away from ATH

My life is so fucked up, I have ADHD, Aspergers, Autism, a lazy eye, a crooked jaw, a cleft lip, deaf in both ears, bad breath, a patchy beard, skinny arms, a limp dick, one hand 50% larger than the other, a loose anus 10 toes on each foot AND a hold chainlink (Ticker: LINK)

In no particular order without explanation, here are 10 altcoins which will do a 3x minimum in the next few months:
LINK
AVAX
DOT
API3
KSM
FTM
PYTH
BONK
INJ
BNB

Congratulations if you hold and continue to hold these fantastic altcoins!

The crypto market is pumping just like how I'm currently pumping out globs of putrid cum out of my sore red dick hole. Funny how life works.

My bank just gave me $100 to invest in bitcoin with them. huh.