/lit/ - Literature

Literature has completely alienated me from my friends.

During the pandemic I read more than I ever had. Lots of classic literature and very little netflix or other pass times. I've kept up this habit since. During this time lots of my friends just drank themselves into obesity and binged netflix and ordered food delivery.

About two weeks ago I visited an old friend - he was basically just a drinking buddy - and I couldn't even get through an evening with him. All he could talk about was buying stuff, consuming, getting a bigger TV, a new car, a new phone. It was the most banal conversation I ever had. I tried to talk about anything else and it was impossible. I've had some similiar experiences with my other friends before, but this was by far the most unsettling.

I don't consider myself an intellectual by any means, or a snob. I just don't know how deal with that fact that:
A. I used to be a selfish consumer.
B. I can no longer identify with that way of life
C. Many of my old friends think engaging in anything beyond mindless consumption is gay
D. Literature has made me more critical of society, and alienated me from my old life

Forgive me Lord but sometimes I get tired of being a citizen. The city tires me, the offices, my family and the economy. Forgive me Lord, I am tired of this hell, this mediocre market where everyone has a price. Forgive me Lord but I will go with you through your mountains, your seas, and your rivers. Forgive me Lord but sometimes I think you have something better than this for me. Forgive me Lord, I don't want to be a citizen, I want to be a man, Lord, like you created me.

Any literature for this feel?